Ok so I wanted to share this in May but due to the baby being a secret for a while, I couldn't very well get on here and discuss buying pregnancy tests. First of all let me say, that I am the most awkwardly, embarrassed person while buying personal products at the store. I use to get all red and blotchy (as I tend to do when I'm mad, cry, get embarrassed or my body inconveniently senses any type of emotion) every single time I bought "feminine products" at the store. I would buy in huge bulk and go to self check out just to avoid the humiliation next month.
With that being said, it can only be expected that I would not only feel terribly awkward while buying tests but also that "michele moments" would occur during the process. Michele Moments for those of you who don't know, are worse than the "why is this happening to me moments" but rather this would ONLY happen to me moments!
While purchasing the first pack of tests: I ran into a customer from my work, not one that knows my personal life very well, so this is just lovely, they now think I am accidentally knocked up and are imagining a pregnant waitress pouring their coffee next week.... What if they ask me how it worked out during their visit next week? Lovely, breakfast small talk....ugh
2nd pack of tests (as I mentioned before, we were trying for this baby so many tests were purchased)
I go in late at night, to reduce the risk of seeing my customers and so that I can use the test first thing in the morning. Naturally, I only want to run in, and run out.....NEVER happens! Of course the tests are locked up so I have to go to the front and ask someone to come unlock the case for me. The pharmacy is closed so they ask over the pa system for someone to come assist me. I'm officially embarrassed. The person comes, with what I see as judgmental eyes (they were prob just thinking I hate you for making me get off the couch in the breakroom and couldn't have cared less about my personal life). I get my test, go to self check out, and then go to scan my coupon. Of course, another attendant has to come scan that coupon and approve it. As she does so, she looks over at the only other people there and yells, "Hey, yall have the same coupon haha". Thank you check out lady, i now feel even more awkward. Coincidentally, we end up parked right next to each other outside. (ONLY ME!) I felt the need to say something, as the couple kept staring at me. I awkwardly said, "Good luck" and got in my car noticeably quick.
3rd Pack- In the self checkout line, once again. I scan the box and it says, "Attendant has been notified to assist you". WHAT? why, I didn't ask for assistance, that's why I'm in this lane, I do not want assistance. So the guy comes over and is now holding my tests in his hand. He tells me that I am very pretty and he sees me in here all the time and that I am so nicely dressed. He then tells me I looked exceptionally pretty in that black dress on Sunday. I am officially bothered. I am now pushing all the buttons with my left hand, attempting to blind him with any glare I can get on my wedding ring. I say thank you although I am thinking to myself....Maybe this is why you are single, your timing has a lot to be desired. Really, if you see me so much that you memorize my outfits, why choose the day you are holding my pee sticks in your hand to hit on me? Really????? Seriously creepo? Where were you hoping to get with this? I think someone bet you to it big guy..... and I ask you, who else would this happen to?
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